Why Do You Eat Cheese?

Eating cheese is one of the worst things you can do to your body. Every time you eat something with cheese in it, it’s like saying a big FUCK YOU to your body.

If you think about it, it’s really quite selfish to eat cheese (or anything else just because it tastes good). And by selfish I mean ignoring the health of your body for a few seconds of sensual gratification. That would be like a sadist punching someone in the face because it gives them a few seconds of pleasure. Yes, that’s what I’m saying, every time you eat cheese it’s like you’re getting sadistic pleasure from punching yourself in the face.

There’s absolutely no benefits to eating cheese. The only reason people eat it is because it tastes good. Your mind gets a few seconds of pleasure, then your body spends hours and hours trying to digest this high-fat, (usually) enzyme-less, fiber-less, nutritionally bankrupt food that clogs up your whole body.

Do you eat cheese just because everyone else does and it’s too hard for you to say no? If so, grow some balls!! (That means you too, girls!) Stand up for the health of your body! Just because restaurants like Chipotle tend to put cheese on their dishes, doesn’t mean you can’t say no! Exercise your power and tell people no cheese please!

What Happens When You Stop Eating Cheese?

The first thing that I noticed, were that my poops dramatically improved. No longer was I sitting on the toilet for copious amounts of time, using up an insane amount of toilet paper. Before, when I used to eat a lot of cheese, I remember thinking to myself, “How the HELL do I have so much poop on my butt? Where is this coming from? Why doesn’t it go away after a few wipes?” I still don’t understand how this bottomless pit shit happens.

You really don’t know what effects cheese (and other dairy) have on you until you stop eating it for a good amount of time, say 30 days. Are you curious? Give it a shot, use some leverage to help you stay true to your word.

Other effects you’ll notice when you stop eating cheese are an increase in energy and concentration. Cheese is extremely hard for your body to digest and, therefore, your body wastes a lot of energy trying to digest it. All this extra energy used to digest your food means your body has less energy for everything else. Maybe one of the reasons why you’re so lazy is because you waste so much energy on digesting “foods.”

People seem to think that they’re somehow missing out on the tastiness of food if they’re not eating cheese. As if humans have hated eating food until 8000 B.C.—one of the earliest time that cheese could have been made (Source). This was a turning point in the history of humankind because now, finally, humans would actually enjoy eating food!

Obviously, this is absurd and not the case at all. When you stop eating cheese, your taste buds get used to not being overstimulated and adjust to the more subtle flavors of your food. You may have to go through a small rehabilitation phase but trust me, food (especially fruit) still tastes amazing without cheese.

One of the main benefits of the lack of cheese in your diet is that you’ll lose weight. Because cheese is so calorie-dense, it’s easy to eat a whole bunch of calories from it because it takes up so little space in your stomach. If instead, you eat less calorie-dense foods like rice, beans, veggies, and fruits, you actually get to eat much, much more food before you reach the same amount of calories. Sure, you may believe in quality over quantity, but if you favor health over a few seconds of sensual gratification, you’ll realize that you get BOTH quality and quantity when eating yummy, healthy food.

And if you do stop eating cheese, those rare (likely drunken) times when you do eat some cheese, it’ll taste way better than you remember!

Or maybe the cheese won’t taste so good anymore. When I first stopped eating cheese, I had ordered a bean burrito from Del Taco and forgot to ask for no cheese. I decided to eat it anyway and found out that I actually liked the taste without cheese better! But this probably had more to do with the extremely low quality of cheese at Del Taco.

So are you strong enough to go against the crowd and say “no cheese please”? Can you overcome your addiction to the delicacy of cheese, otherwise known as the fermented titty juice of a cow? Could you at least give it a try for 30 days?

(* .*)

Return from Why do You Eat Cheese to Love Your Body