“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up someplace else.” -Yogi Berra
Some people don’t want to think about where they’re going, they just want to be told and go along for the ride.
Other people like to pretend they know what they want, but really they’ve been brainwashed to believe their consumerist desires are their own, and they’re really just deciding how to decorate their prison cell. These types of people are afraid to say and do what what want because they crave stability and are afraid of the unknown.
Then there are people who break away from the hivemind to embrace the unknown and find out who they really are and what they’re really made of. And in this awakening process of not caring about the haters, they start to realize that there are other people out there like them. And while they may be different in many ways, they all seem to want similar things.
If you’re not super clear about what your dream of a better life is, you’ll probably spend a lot of your time helping other people achieve theirs.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with helping other people get what they want. But the true power emerges when you synch your
The first thing we’ll do is both get super clear about who you are, where you’re at, what you’re doing, where exactly you want to go and why, we can start figuring out the best way to help you get there.
The way this system works is that it starts with over 300 questions that are designed to help us get as clear of a view of everything about yourself as possible—where you’ve been, where you’re at, and where you’re going. Some questions are a simple one word answer, some questions you could write five pages about if you wish.
The questions are designed with the Socratic Method in mind. The Socratic Method is all about asking questions to help someone become clear about how they really feel, how they really think, and what they really believe. This means cutting through the bullshit of conflicting or fallacious beliefs.
For example, someone might say, “I’m such an idiot!” The natural response for a friend with empathy may be to tell them they’re not an idiot and give examples why. This works to some extent, but it involves the friend exerting power over the person and trying to “fix” the problem for them. While this may work in the short term it can reinforce the idea that they need someone else to help make them feel better, which is the opposite of the goal for having high self-esteem.
The Socratic Method, on the other hand, attempts to get the person to solve the problem on their own. The conversation may look something like this:
A: “I’m such an idiot!”
B: “Why do you think that?”
A: “I screwed up. I made such a bad decision.”
B: “Do you think smart people never make mistakes?”
A: “Uh, well. Of course not. Everyone makes mistakes.”
B: “If both smart people and idiots make mistakes, what’s the main difference is between the way they respond to mistakes?”
A: “Hmm… well, a smart person learns from their mistakes.”
B: “And what does an idiot do?”
A: “Um… Pretend it never happened or blame someone else.”
B: “You acknowledged that you made a mistake. Are you going to learn from it?”
A: “Yeah, I’ll try.”
B: “So, by your definition, are you smart or an idiot?”
A: “I’m smart!”
By walking them through this process, you get them to realize the truth on their own. Next time they feel like an idiot, they will hopefully walk through this mental process by themselves. This is an example of the difference between giving someone a fish and teaching them to fish.
The Socratic Method is one of the most effective ways to both learn and teach. It’s not about being told what to do or what to think, but rather to help you figure it out yourself with a little guidance.
While these questions are based off the Socratic Method, we will not go into this depth for each question as that would be way too intense, though for some it may be necessary. The main goal is for us to be clear about where you’re at and where you want to go. This will give us a good starting point on how you can most effectively move forward.
Even people who like to think of themselves as introspective are unlikely to have gone to the depth that these questions help you penetrate. The mind is skilled at being able to ignore, deflect and rationalize away whatever it finds uncomfortable.
One purpose of answering these questions is that it makes it difficult to hide from yourself; it brings the parts of yourself that are generally kept in the background into the foreground. While this work is extraordinarily helpful, most people are not ready to look at themselves with this level of transparency, let alone bare their soul to someone else, let alone bare their soul to someone else to receive feedback on the depth of their being. It’s not easy to be this vulnerable, but the rewards are immense for those who are strong enough.
These questions are designed to challenge you, to strip away any of the big fish in the small pond syndrome. You may think you’re pretty hot stuff for dominating your local courts, but if you want to play at the highest level, to the best of your abilities, you need to step up to the big leagues and spend more time around people who will kick your ass and challenge you to be the best that you can be. Answering these questions is a huge leap in that direction.
Although it’s recommended, you don’t have to answer every question and you also don’t have to go deep into every question. However, the more you open up and let me know who you really are and where you’re really at, the more I can help you.
Most of these questions can lead to fairly in-depth responses. If you take this seriously, you will likely end up with around 15-25 pages worth of information that explains almost everything about yourself as thoroughly as possible. You will become much clearer about who you are just by going through this first step.
Yes, it’s a lot of work. But you cannot expect to have tremendous growth without putting in the work.
How Do We Work Together?
After you finish answering the questions you submit them to me to begin the an initial assessment. (If, however, you cannot afford to work with me, then you can fill out these questions with a friend and give each other feedback.)
Note: Because of how vulnerable it is to show me the answers to all of these questions, telling me way more about you than even Google or Facebook know, we can do this work completely anonymously and securely if you would like.1 But either way, the information you give is completely confidential.
After receiving your answers, I will go over them and ask you to clarify and expand upon certain areas. There will likely be several back-and-forths until we iron everything out.
The reason why we do so much of this work is that there is no one-size-fits all approach to life. In order to custom tailor the best path of growth for you, I need to know as much about you as possible. While this process is mostly for me to get clear about who you are, it will also be effective for helping you clarify where you’re at.
Once we’re super clear about
There are two options, silver and gold.
With silver, the work we do is more spread out. We work intensely together for a couple weeks every three months. We set quarterly goals. You may reach out to me through email for urgent matters, but the bulk of our work is to be condensed to every three months.
With gold, the work we do is more consistent. We will set quarterly goals as well, but also smaller goals every fortnight. This allows us to continually mold and adapt our approach to get you the best results possible.
I will be available by phone (within reason) if pressing matters arise where email will not suffice.
After going over some of the easy gains that lead to quick results, the first thing I recommend we focus on is how we can make these services pay for themselves, unless the financial part is not a priority for you.
The first goal is to reduce your yearly expenditure by at least double the fee, to easily cover the initial investment, with as little impact on your happiness and quality of life. We focus on this first because it can be implemented immediately.
The next step is an in-depth analysis on how to increase your earning potential. While reducing expenses can bear fruits almost instantaneously, this process is mostly a long term strategy. Real wealth is built on compounding results over time, not get-rich-quick schemes. Specific strategies will depend on your skills and how you currently make money.
If you work for someone else this could be helping you negotiate a raise, helping you find a new job with higher compensation and how to most effectively increase both your value and perceived value for future raises.
If you are self-employed it becomes a much more in-depth process, more so depending on how many people work for you. The more you tell me about your business, the more I can help you solve the problems you know you have, identify problems and bottlenecks you may not have realized you had, clarify the vision of the company and how to best move forward, and how we can make your business revolve more around your life than having your life revolve around your business.
If your money works for you, we will go over your investments and speculations and give you suggestions on how to increase your returns while minimizing risk. My clients have had a lot of success with Nassim Taleb’s barbell strategy2—a high percentage in conservative investments and a small amount in high-risk, high-reward investments. The success of my clients in the high-risk, high-reward investments I have recommended have been so insanely high that I will not include it here as there is no way I can possibly imply that you will get anywhere near these returns—past results do not guarantee future success—and you’ll probably think I’m exaggerating or lying anyway.
To summarize, the first goal is to have your investment pay for itself, and then some, as quickly as possible while simultaneously building a strong foundation that will lead to compounding wealth over time. Of course, making money is only a small part of financial security, but I recommend prioritizing the money-making part first so that this system easily pays for itself. Then we can go over the other parts of financial success later.
After money, the next most pressing need is the mental realm because it is the foundation of everything else. When our mental world is weak, we likely struggle at everything. When our mind is strong, we are likely to be kicking ass in all areas of our life. Because of society’s warped views on success, some people think they’re pretty mentally strong—just because they make good money and are good at their job—when really they’re just barely holding it together.
For example, how can you make a good case that you have strong mental fortitude if you don’t seem to have the discipline to lose those twenty pounds of extra fat?3 How can you claim to have a strong mind if you’re a man who can’t help but leak your objectifying sexual energy onto women? How can you claim to be in tip-top mental shape if you make a decent paycheck but aren’t saving and investing a large percentage of it or, even worse, are in debt? How can you pretend to be mentally strong if the thoughts in your head are constantly attacking your self-esteem? How can you argue that you have your shit together when you drink a substantial amount of alcohol, eat crappy food and rarely exercise?
Strong mental fortitude is the foundation for being successful at anything. The clearer and more accurately we think about and perceive the world, the easier it becomes to solve problems and enjoy life to the fullest extent.
It has been said that you are your own worst enemy. This is true when the mind is wild, untamed and weak. But this is like people blaming the knife for being dull when they don’t hone it regularly and never get it sharpened.
When you consciously work out your mind, feed it well and take care of it, it ends up being your most powerful ally. However, this practice is extremely tricky. The mind does not want to be tamed and it will sometimes fight aggressively. But where it truly excels is in its passive aggressiveness that often flies below the radar. This is why it’s important to have people around you who you trust to give you an outside opinion. It can be difficult to set up this experience in day-to-day life. But by doing this work with me, you are committing to consistently create the container for objective feedback on your impossible-to-escape subjective experience. This is the key to exponential growth.
After finances and mental wellness, I don’t have a general recommendation on what to prioritize next. It mostly depends on what you need and what you think you need, which aren’t always the same.
For example, an extremely common desire for men is to want a more abundant, healthy and amazing sex life. While there may be some easy 80/20 tweaks, the foundational work for a high quality romantic life is almost entirely about interpersonal skills. Men often think they need to get better at “picking up” or “seducing” women4 when what they really need to focus on getting better at is making friends with women. If you’re not good at being friends with women, what makes you think you’ll be good at being “more than friends?”5 It’s like a golfer wanting to focus on putting when he can’t get the ball anywhere close to the green. The better you get at interpersonal skills, the easier the romance part is. All romance really is is advanced interpersonal skills.
While your priority might be to get better at one thing, what may be limiting you is a weakness or blindness in another area. If you want to make more money, the main limiting factor may be your interpersonal skills, which could be your lack of ability to network, your lack apparent trustworthiness, etc. If you want to get better at your interpersonal skills, the main thing holding you back may be how you relate to your emotions. If you want to have a healthier relationship with your emotions, the main thing slowing you down may be your low self-esteem.6 If you have low self-esteem, the main thing holding you back may be your physical health. If you have poor physical health, the main thing holding you back is likely poor mental fortitude.
Everything is interrelated. This is why it’s so important to do all the work instead of myopically focusing on “niching down.” In business, it’s best to focus entirely on maximizing your strengths—you can always work with people who complement you. In your personal life, it’s best to focus on training your weaknesses—no one can exercise for you. If you don’t take care of your body, you’re not taking care of your mind, and if your mind is not working at a high level you cannot hope to be at optimal effectiveness in anything that you do.
What is being offered here is the complete package—how to be successful at the fundamentals of life, which builds the foundation to be successful at anything and everything. Feel better, accomplish more, make better friends, have better and more abundant sex, feel great about yourself, and help the world in a profound way as possible.
Want to learn more?
1. If anonymity is important to you, I offer different layers of solutions. You can payments with cryptocurrencies like bitcoin, ether, litecoin, monero and nano. You can also submit all of the answers to the questions through PGP encryption, which I will never store unencrypted. If you’re interested in phone consultations, there are various options we can use so that we can voice chat while you remain anonymous. [return to text]
2. It is called a barbell strategy because of how the money is split up. A lot of money invested conservatively, a small amount invested in high risk, with little to no investments in the middle. Although this analogy is not perfect as there is a significantly higher amount invested conservatively, the idea is that the amount made from the high risk side has the potential to make a similar amount of money—albeit with far less capital—than the conservative side. [return to text]
3. You can be fat and healthy or skinny and unhealthy. If you have extra fat on you and are happy about it, there’s not much of a need to lose it. However, if you aren’t happy about the extra pounds, then let’s help you get rid of it. [return to text]
4. Which is mostly just about trying to trick women into having sex with you. [return to text]
5. If you’re problem is getting “friend-zoned” and you think you’re good at making friends but bad at escalating from there, you’re interpersonal skills are probably not as good as you think. There can be a whole host of factors that lead to people getting friend-zoned that are based in interpersonal skills—romance just brings it out more—like neediness, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-care. Then there are more romantic aspects like not being attune to sexual energy, sexual repression, and objectification—how can you be so “in love” with someone who does not feel similarly towards you? This is not being “in love” this is being infatuated, you are in love with the idea not the person. [return to text]
6. Having a big ego is essentially when your perceived self-esteem is much higher than your actual self-esteem. Therefore, having a big ego is one form of low self-esteem. [return to text]