The way this system works is that it starts with over 100 questions that are designed to help you get as clear of a view of everything about yourself as possible. Even people who like to think of themselves as introspective are unlikely to have gone to the depth that these questions help you penetrate. The mind is skilled in being able to ignore, deflect and rationalize away whatever it finds uncomfortable.
One purpose of answering these questions is that it makes it much more difficult to hide from yourself; it brings the parts of yourself that are generally kept in the background into the foreground. But it’s not just about being more aware of what you don’t know, but what you don’t know you don’t know. If you don’t know something, you can ask a search engine. If you aren’t aware that you don’t know, then you either have to stumble upon the information randomly or someone has to tell you.
In order to help you realize this, these questions are designed with the Socratic method in mind, asking you questions to get you to think about something in a way you likely haven’t before. While you can do a lot by yourself with these answers, it pales in comparison to what can be accomplished with expert feedback, especially because of the additional back-and-forth that we’ll have where I ask additional questions about certain answers to clarify and expand upon them.
While this work is extraordinarily helpful, most people cannot handle looking at themselves with this level of transparency, let alone bare their soul to someone else, let alone bare their soul to someone else for feedback on the depth of their being. It’s not easy to be this vulnerable, but the rewards are immense.
These questions are designed to challenge you. They will strip away any semblance of the big fish in the small pond syndrome. You may think you’re pretty hot stuff for dominating your local courts, but if you want to play at the highest level, to the best of your abilities, you need to step up to the big leagues and spend more time around people who will kick your ass and challenge you to be the best that you can be. Answering these questions is a huge leap in that direction.
Filling out the questionnaire will give you and, if you want feedback, me quite a good insight on where your most pressing needs are and how we can most effectively help you become more successful. It’s also a test to see if you’re ready to work with me. I have no interest in working with people who don’t want to do the work and just want to throw money at their problems. I am here to most effectively help you help yourself not to solve all of your problems for you, which is impossible anyway.
The questions are organized by category, below is a summary of what they are designed to do. You may notice that some of these benefits are difficult to realize by just answering a question on your own. These ones are designed in a way to give me the information to help you.
- reducing the logical fallacies that you tend to make
- more accurately prioritizing your life based on what you really want, not what you think you want
- increasing how much you understand about how much you don’t know
- helping you understand what you don’t know you don’t know
- how you can be more effective in the way you approach everything you do
- how your mental thought patterns get in your way and how to break these patterns
- how to better implement and sustain habits and growth
- how to increase your ability to learn as quickly and effectively as possible—which is more about subtraction than addition
- how to have more and better ideas
- how to more effectively execute your ideas, and how to simultaneously have less expectations but be more ambitious.
- how to implement thought patterns that lead to perfect contentment with how everything is right now in this moment.
- how you can take more responsibility for, and therefore be more empowered by, your emotions
- how to better act when unpleasant emotions arise
- how to better deal with and manage unpleasant emotions
- how to break emotional loops
- how to maximize pleasant emotions and minimize unpleasant emotions
- how to lose the victim mentality, using unpleasant emotions to help us grow and learn
- how to remain objective during highly emotional states
- how to feel more safe and secure
- how to trust in your own abilities and have faith that you can handle anything no matter what happens
- how to be braver
- how to be more antifragile
- how to diversify your freedom
- how to be comfortable being uncomfortable
- how to get the benefits of “faith” without the downsides.
- how to make more money without selling your soul
- how to increase your earning potential
- how to create a better offer
- how to improve your network
- how to be smarter with the money you do make
- how to feel more fulfilled from your work
- how to find work so fulfilling you never want to retire
- how to reduce your expenses without reducing quality of life
- how to most effectively invest in yourself
- how to get better at delaying gratification
- how to get further and further away from the rat race
- why following your passion is shit advice and what to do instead
- how to be great at relational business
- how to feel more abundant and magnetize wealth
- how to more effectively use money to increase your quality of life
- how to improve your relationship with money
Some financial questions will be different based on whether you own your own business, invest or are employed to optimize each one of these. This is explained below under the how we work together section.
- how to naturally want to eat healthier instead of having to use willpower
- how to reduce guilt and shame for unhealthy eating and more fully enjoy your food
- help with being more efficient with cooking healthy delicious food
- tips and techniques to make it easier to eat healthy.
- how to most effectively use your willpower to become more fit
- how to make fitness a part of who you are, not something you do
- how to feel better and more comfortable in your body
- analysis and critique on your current fitness regimen including:
- what your goals are
- how to most effectively achieve them
- how to be a better listener
- how to be a better communicator
- how to be more socially aware
- how to be more vulnerable
- how to most effectively turn financial capital into social capital
- how to speak more compassionately1
- how to be more of your weird and silly self in a way that acts like a magnet for authentic connections
- how to be easier for other people to connect with
- how to feel more connected to and less alienated from people
- how to be a better conversationalist
- how to be less resentful towards people
- how to be a better friend, roommate, house guest and business partner to better build connections that will last the rest of your life
- how to be better at meeting awesome people and building community
- how to be more content being alone
- how to be more attune to sexual energy
- how to better escalate sexual energy
- how to increase how safe people feel around you
- how to be a better lover
- how to be a better partner
- how online dating fucks things up
- how to be easier to love
- how to be more clear about love, lust and infatuation
- how to improve the way you go about finding romantic partners
- how to lessen cravings for romance and sex and therefore increase your ability to attract romance and sex
- how to better get out of your head and just do what you want instead of incessantly worrying about other people’s opinions of every little thing you do or do not do
- how to improve the way you think in a way that results in higher self-esteem without any behavioral change
- how to better feel good no matter what instead of your self-esteem being like a car without shocks—jostled by every bump in the road
- how to more effectively keep your cool when unfavorable things happens
- how to be less effected and even inspired by haters
- how to be more inspired, and less intimidated, by greatness
- how to better respond to fear and unwanted things happening
- how to reduce self-loathing
- how to more effectively help people in a profound a way as possible
- how to clarify what your purpose is
- how to better befriend the ego
- how to let go of feelings of not being enough or never doing enough
- how to utilize Self-Actualization to more effortlessly meet all of your other needs.
If you answer all of these questions it will result in a hell of a lot of information. That’s why I’ve mentioned so often that this is work. It’s not easy, but nothing worth having is.
Most of these questions can lead to fairly in-depth responses. If you take this seriously, you will likely end up with around 15-25 pages worth of information that explains almost everything about yourself in a much more thorough way than you could’ve ever done on your own. You will learn an incredible amount of information about yourself by going through this process.
If you decide to work with me, your answers will be a starting point into which we can further explore. Because showing me the answers to all of these questions is essentially barring your soul to me, telling me way more about you than even Google or Facebook know, we can do this work anonymously.2
How Do We Work Together?
The next step in this system involves you submitting the answers to me for feedback. I will walk through the questionnaire with you to clarify and expand upon your answers. There will likely be several back-and-forths until we iron everything out.
What we’re doing here is figuring out where you’re strong and where you’re weak, especially where you’re weaker than you think you are. Then we’ll figure out together how to best move forward in a way that leads to sustainable, compounding growth.
After going over some of the easy gains that lead to quick results, the first thing we will focus on is how we can make these services pay for themselves, unless the financial part is not a priority for you.
The first goal is to reduce your yearly expenditure by at least double the fee, to easily cover the initial investment, with as little impact on your happiness and quality of life. We focus on this first because it has the most immediate results.
The next step is an in-depth analysis on how to increase your earning potential. While reducing expenses can bear fruits almost instantaneously, this process is a long term strategy. Real wealth is built on compounding results over time, not get-rich-quick schemes. Specific strategies will depend on how you currently make money.
If you work for someone else this could be helping you negotiate a raise, helping you find a new job with higher compensation and how to most effectively increase both your value and perceived value for future raises.
If you are self-employed it becomes a much more in-depth process, more so depending on how many people work for you. Either way, we will go over how to most effectively increase your bottom line over time, which includes increasing your revenue, increasing your margin,3 increasing you and your employees effectiveness, and when to fire clients.4
If your money works for you, we will go over your investments and speculations and give you suggestions on how to increase your returns while minimizing risk. My clients have had a lot of success with Nassim Taleb’s barbell strategy5—a high percentage in conservative investments and a small amount in high risk, high reward investments. The success of my clients in the high risk, high reward investments I have recommended have been so insanely high that I will not include it here as there is no way I can possibly imply that you will get anywhere near these returns—past results do not guarantee future success—and you’ll probably think I’m exaggerating or lying anyway.
To summarize, the first goal is to have your investment pay for itself, and then some, as quickly as possible while simultaneously building a strong foundation that will lead to compounding wealth over time. Of course, making money is only a small part of financial security, but I recommend prioritizing the money-making part first so that this system easily pays for itself. Then we can go over the other parts of financial success later, like how to help you apply what was mentioned on the first page (AMP and TIM).
If you’re doing well financially you may feel that you don’t need to justify the investment in this work by prioritizing making your money back and that you’d rather focus on other needs over money first. If so, we’ll include this part in the rest of the process described below.
After money, the next most pressing need is mental wellness because it is the foundation of everything else. When we have poor mental wellness, we likely struggle at everything. When our mental wellness is strong, we are likely to be kicking ass in all areas of our life. Because of society’s warped views on success, some people think they’re pretty mentally strong—just because they make good money—when really they just barely holding it together.
For example, how can you make a good case that you have strong mental fortitude if you don’t seem to have the discipline to lose those twenty pounds of extra fat?6 How can you claim to have a strong mind if you can’t help but leak your objectifying sexual energy onto women? How can you claim to be in tip-top mental shape if you make a decent paycheck but aren’t saving and investing a large percentage of it or, even worse, are in debt? How can you pretend to be mentally strong if the thoughts in your head are constantly attacking your self-esteem? How can you argue that you have your shit together when you drink an ungodly amount of alcohol, eat crappy food and rarely exercise?
Strong mental fortitude is the foundation for being successful at anything. The more clearly and accurately we think and perceive the world, the easier it becomes to solve problems and enjoy life to the fullest extent.
It has been said that you are your own worst enemy. This is true when the mind is wild, untamed and weak, like people blaming the knife for being dull when they don’t take care of it, don’t hone the knife regularly and don’t ever get it sharpened.
When we consciously work out our mind, feed it well and take care of it, it ends up being our most powerful ally. However, this practice is extremely tricky and the mind does not want to be tamed and it will sometimes fight aggressively. But where it truly excels is in its passive aggressiveness that often flies below the radar. This is why it’s important to have people around us who we trust to be able to give us an outside opinion. It can be difficult to set up this type of experience in day-to-day life. But by doing this work with me, you are creating the consistent container for objective feedback on your impossible-to-escape subjective experience. But this feedback doesn’t have to come from me, it can come from anyone you trust.7 However, this is what I specialize in.
Unless you feel real strongly that you have more pressing needs, I highly recommend mental wellness be the next priority. What we’re basically doing for the other needs is taking the lessons from mental wellness and focusing it down to the specific need, which is why it’s so important to start here.
After finances and mental wellness, I don’t have a general recommendation on what to prioritize next. It mostly depends on what you need and what you think you need, which aren’t always the same.
For example, an extremely common desire for men is to want a more abundant, healthy and amazing sex life. While there may be some easy 80-20 tweaks, the foundational work for a high quality romantic life is almost entirely about interpersonal skills. Men often think they need to get better at “picking up” or “seducing” women8 when what they really need to focus on getting better at is making friends with women. If you’re not good at being friends with women, what makes you think you’ll be good at being “more than friends?”9 It’s like a golfer wanting to focus on putting when he can’t get the ball anywhere close to the green. Unlike this analogy, the better you get at interpersonal skills, the easier the romance part comes. All romance really is is advanced interpersonal skills.
While your priority might be to get better at one thing, what may be limiting you is a weakness or blindness in another area. If you want to make more money, the main limiting factor may be your interpersonal skills, i.e., your ability to network. If you want to get better at your interpersonal skills, the main thing holding you back may be how you relate to your emotions. If you want to have a healthier relationship with your emotions, the main thing slowing you down may be your ego.10 If you have low self-esteem, the main thing holding you back may be your physical health. If you have poor physical health, the main thing holding you back is likely poor mental wellness.
Everything is interrelated. This is why it’s so important to do all the work instead of myopically focusing on “niching down.” In business, it’s best to focus entirely on maximizing our strengths—we can always work with people who complement us. In our personal life, it’s best to focus on training our weaknesses—no one can exercise for us. If you don’t take care of your body, you’re not taking care of your mind, and if your mind is not working at a high level you cannot hope to be at optimal effectiveness in anything that you do.
So what is being offered here is the complete package, how to be successful at the fundamentals of life, which builds the foundation to be successful at anything and everything.
1. Compassionate communication is more commonly known as “non-violent communication”, but I prefer the positive term. [return to text]
2. If anonymity is important to you, I offer different layers of solutions. There is a 5% discount for payments in cryptocurrencies like bitcoin, ether, litecoin, and monero. You can also submit all of the answers to the questions through PGP encryption, which I will never store unencrypted. If you’re interested in phone consultations, there are various options we can use so that we can voice chat while you remain anonymous. [return to text]
3. Note: this is always done with the triple bottom line in mind—Profit, People, Planet. I do not believe in harming one to increase the bottom line of the others. There are certain instances where huge potential gains are worth small damages, but this ratio must be inordinately high to move forward. [return to text]
4. Depending on the size of your business, I may charge an additional fee for a more extensive evaluation. [return to text]
5. It is called a barbell strategy because of how the money is split up. A lot of money invested conservatively, a small amount invested in high risk, with little to no investments in the middle. Although this analogy is not perfect as there is a significantly higher amount invested conservatively, the idea is that the amount made from the high risk side has the potential to make a similar amount of money—albeit with far less capital—than the conservative side. [return to text]
6. You can be fat and healthy or skinny and unhealthy. If you have extra fat on you and are happy about it, there’s not much of a need to lose it. However, if you aren’t happy about the extra pounds, then let’s help you get rid of it. [return to text]
7. I recommend you find people in your life to give you feedback regardless of whether or not you work for us. [return to text]
8. Which is mostly just trying to trick women into having sex with you. [return to text]
9. If you’re problem is getting “friend-zoned” and you think you’re good at making friends but bad at escalating from there, you’re interpersonal skills are probably not as good as you think. There can be a whole host of factors that lead to people getting friend-zoned that are based in interpersonal skills—romance just brings it out more—like neediness, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-care. Then there are more romantic aspects like not being attune to sexual energy, sexual repression, and objectification—how can you be so “in love” with someone who does not feel similarly towards you? This is not being“in love” this is being infatuated, you are in love with the idea not the person. [return to text]
10. Having a big ego is essentially when your perceived self-esteem is much higher than your actual self-esteem. [return to text]